"All Yours, Yours Truly" by @madelinet_xo

She shares everything she loves, she's far too open and far too straight up. But, in a respectable manner. She's often right, she's got a bright, sharp mind and is usually  two steps ahead of a lot of people. She also admits when she's wrong, but will be defensive when criticized. She loves to surround herself with the right type of people: people of influence, purity and appreciation. She's proud of who she is now but awkward about her past. She loves people but is often hurt by those who cannot comprehend her, those who take advantage of her generosity. Perfectly comfortable alone, but far too social to not want to be with someone. 

After all, whats the point of being filled with so much love and joy if you aren't going to share it? She is more than one person, very colourful and so many sides. Truly she is at her best when she's with someone who enjoys her leadership, gives her brain candy, supports her passions and who makes her laugh. She's loves authentic, genuine and well mannered people, she feels more hopeful about the future of the world when she finds someone. She makes decisions too fast, trusting her instincts…every time just hoping she wont be screwed over again. Her instincts have improved. Driven by passion and emotion, logical strategies and goals.

Negative experiences scar her but never hold her down. But she doesn't dwell on it, she will openly talk about it, but she moves on.  She can’t help it, she loves love. She's not good at forgiving intentionally hurtful people but she sure is good at picking herself up and putting herself back out there, trial and error, disappointment and faith, Lessons being learned. 

Making someone laugh, a cute smile pulling on the corners of lips, when theres so much to say but they cannot express themselves, she's there. She would rather solve problems than be angry.open up, she's wants to hear and know everything in your head, but granted, she will respect your space. just an interest in intellect. Make her feel loved and never betray her trust, and she will be everything you truly need and what you ask for. 

xx Maddy

"Think It Out" by @madelinet_xo

Its been pointed out to me that I have a serious problem with my tongue. See, the way I like to think things out is by speaking. So I speak what comes to my mind, a raw, brash and blunt opinion. Then I back track and change my sentence, using more fact or logic. This actually makes me sound quite all over the place, possibly hypocritical, but its honestly just my way of sorting my thoughts. Its my way of figuring out the flaws in my original opinion and allows to create a solution or good response when conversing. 

For some reason, when I speak fast and brash, I come of as negative and cynical but that is not intentional. Its my way of saying something so that I can critically think about what Im saying, unfortunately I do this out loud. I need to hear myself to correct myself. Example, the only time I ever really catch mistakes on this blog is when I finally decide to read them out loud. 

For that exact reason, sounding so brash and negative, I would much rather write out my thoughts and opinions. They come out more pleasant, more careful and more moving when the words aren't rolling off my tongue like shrapnel. Writing enables me to slow down, to get through my own messy stream of consciousness. It helps me sort fact from opinion, show me what I need to work on and how to speak more calmly. The more I write, the less I rant/outburst in effort to get my point across. 

Like tea, writing has the effect of calming my high tension, anxiety ridden and excited nervous system.

xx Maddy

"The Importance of Fear" by @madelinet_xo

(I watched a very eye opening ted talk today. Here’s the link to it.)

https://www.ted.com/talks/karen_thompson_walker_what_fear_can_teach_us?language=en#

    I came to the realization of what my own fears do to me. I like to analyze anything about myself that may further explain who I am. This often includes birth-charts/astrological interest. However I also analyze my own body language, dreams…and after watching this ted talk; my fears and how they affect me. As mentioned in this ted talk our fears are our minds way of telling a story. Think about it, when you're about to do something and become afraid, the first thing you do is think and picture what can go wrong and describe why you shouldn't do what you're afraid of. This may be the fear of doing something new, going somewhere or talking to someone. Your mind plays out all the negative possibilities and why you should not pursue such actions. However, once you learn to realize that this fear is your imagination or input from past experiences ( or stories from others); you can use that to your advantage. Recognizing what you fear and why you fear it my help you push yourself out of your comfort bubble and do something daring, or something meaningful that you've been putting off. Whether you've been putting off starting a project for fear or failure or mockery, or putting off talking to someone new for the fear of rejection or awkwardness; identifying that these are the most negative outcomes is important. The situation does not have to go the way you fear. In fact, use your fear to determine how to best approach a situation. This ted talk closely relates to the laws of attraction in my opinion. What you put out there is what you get. You send out love and good energy, that will return to you. You think negatively about yourself, you will feel negatively about yourself. You think going up to someone to talk to them is gonna make you turn into a stuttering mess, that may just happen. 

    This relation between fear and the laws of attraction have just become very important to me. Once you realize that you're fears are the worst possible outcome of any situation, use that to become liberated. Use that to develop a plan for the best outcome. One of the most important things to me is taking negative aspects and using them as motivation. So you don't want to lose money with your start up company? Then don't count on it, encourage yourself and always have a backup plan for your backup plan, don't accept failure. You're afraid to walk down a path because you don't know whats on it? What if what the unknown that you're fearing is filled with everything you've ever wanted to see and leads you to be places you've always wanted to be. 

            Don't let your fears paralyze any type of progress. 

xx Maddy

Poem: "Diamonds" by Annabelle Leigh

"Diamonds"

Diamonds in the sky add a twinkle to your eyes. An unfathomable domination, with words that could shake a nation. You're my fixation. 

Diamonds in the sky, you're my foundation. Billions of galaxies deserve a standing ovation. For your eyes are my salvation. 

Diamonds in the sky, accept me. Let me flow, let me connect your constellation. With no hesitation, you take me. Your light starts to embrace me as I sink deeper into the Galaxy.

Diamonds in the sky, you mystify. You signify my love in the life. You signify the love in my eyes, Hypnotized.

Poem: "Lesson Learned" by Annabelle Leigh

"Lesson Learned"

I've learned to stop crying when I call you.

I've learned to stop waiting for your calls...

I've learned to deal with the withdrawals. The pain is starting to hurt less, and the tears are starting to dry faster.

My heart is starting to beat slower and my scars are starting to heal over. I never knew what love was until I met you. I never knew how much love hurt until I left you. But it's said only a few get to see the lies hidden beneath the truth. 

Poem: "I Love.." by Annabelle Leigh

"I Love..."

I love who you used to be. I love how we used to kiss and how we used to touch. I remember nights where hugs just weren't enough. I used to love the way you looked at me... The way your lips would move when you'd say you love me. Too bad it was all imaginary. I could say it sucks I never mattered, but does it really? I knew before you truly showed me. I love the way you used to love me... The more time goes on, I realized I only loved who you pretended to be. Now, continuing to fall in love with false dreams doesn't interest me... I'm sorry

-Annabelle Leigh

"Paradox" by Rianne Johns

Ive spent a great deal of my life trying to re invent myself. Constantly saying "I just need change" or "im not who i want to be". This year, however, has been quite a bit different. Somewhere along the way i began to realize that life is not and has never been about "finding yourself." at least not for me. What does that even mean, "finding yourself"? Does anyone really know? Probably not. After searching and searching for this said meaning-this self actualization-to no avail , i took a step back and changed my perspective. I weighed my likes and dislikes , my wants and needs, my positive and negative traits, basically everything that i consider to be a part of what makes me, well, me. And I realized that if i did that every day , i would never come out with the same answers. Who i am now is not who i was yesterday nor is it who i will be tomorrow. My mind is constantly expanding, filling with new ideas and experiences- perspectives on life. There is only one constant to which I am aware of . For the past 3 or 4 years of my life I've been obsessed with the word Paradox and everything it represents. I never really thought too deeply into why until just recently. Everything about me is a Paradox. Contradictory to the point of being nearly impossible. I am a hopeless romantic yet a brutal realist, an outcast yet the most extrovert socialite you can imagine, thoughtful and cautious, yet somehow also selfish and impulsive. This realization got me thinking. I love myself on my deep and emotional days, but i also love myself when I feel like being, for lack of a better word, vapid or ignorant. I will be who I am in that moment and nothing else. I spent so long trying to put a label on myself , fit myself into some non existent category, when really all i had to do was be. Live. Experience each day with an open mind. Give in to my own paradox

"Energy." by @FBNYP

I think it's crazy that I haven't been on here and posted in a while but wow. It has been a long time. Although time can't be replaced it really shouldn't. The only thing you have any power over is what you are doing and not going to do. The things in my life have made up for an incredible portion of what I stand for and one of those is encouragement and understanding because some of our greatest leaders have yet to be appreciated. It's weird looking back on HS now since its so long ago. I do think I would have and should have done some things differently. I think I didn't because its was exhausting but it didnt matter. I had no energy anymore. Which brings me to what I need you to understand. You are never worth nothing and that should never be forgotten. Society does not dictate your happiness, All i ask is you not hurt anyone intentionally. Sometimes people enjoy getting burned, I however have lost patience for. I look back on old friends and the people they've forgiven and I asked myself are we who we are or who we forgive? Life is a crazy demonstration you will never understand until you realize your energy is you guideline. It doesn't lie and it need to be understood more. Stop letting people block you and your goals we are not lazy, you deserve better for YOU. In all, the law of attraction is a good way to visualize. Everything is connected. 

YP

PS thank you for saving my life. FreeBirdNation.  

"You Are Good Enough. " by Sarah Jones

It’s 6 am and your alarm goes off. You lay in bed thinking about how you have to be at school in an hour. Debating whether you want those extra couple minutes of sleep and looking horrible at school or if you actually want to look somewhat decent. You decide to get up and get ready because there is this guy you’ve been crushing on for the past couple of weeks and you’re hoping today is the day he notices you. 

You’re sitting in class waiting for that bell to ring so you can see him. You have butterflies in your stomach just thinking about walking past him hoping he sees you. Maybe he’ll smile or say hi. 

He noticed you, he looked at you but didn’t smile or say hi. Instead he put his head down and kept walking. You wonder all day if you did something wrong or you don’t feel like you’re pretty enough to be talking to a guy like him. You try to convince yourself that he’s too shy to say hi but then you’re back to thinking you are the reason he wont talk to you and that you aren’t good enough.

You are good enough. 

You make a new friend at school. She’s so nice and you realize you guys have a lot in common. You two hangout all of the time, but when it comes to hanging out in groups of people she never invites you. You’re always left wondering why. Why won’t she introduce me to her other friends? Am i not pretty enough? Is she embarrassed to be friends with me? Does she just feel bad for me? You end up thinking.. i’m probably not good enough. 

You are good enough.

“Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” Never let someone else’s actions effect how you think of yourself. DON’T ever let someone make you feel like you aren’t good enough. Whether its a boy you’re crushing on or a friend you make. There are people out there that will make you feel like you’re good enough. Find them. Be friends with them. Because the people who make you feel like YOU are the best people to have around. Yes you are pretty enough, no you aren’t embarrassing to be around, and YES…

You are good enough. 

"What if..." by Bailey Cornwel

What if I told you the boy you liked/loved in high school that broke your heart won't be of any affect to you when you graduate?

What if I told you the girl that called you that awful name doesn't define who you truly are?

What if I told you the teacher who said you wouldn't amount to anything would be eating his words by the time you are 23?

What if I told you that you are you for a reason and you are meant to be the best YOU, you can be?

Would you believe me?

Peoples actions and words do not define who we are. They do not control our destiny and what we want to amount to. Their words and lack of love do not hold the keys to open the doors to our future. You & only YOU can control your words and thought and where you choose to place yourself in this world. Your words of encouragement, and strong minded though will get you farther than you think. Words hold a mighty power. How will you choose to speak of yourself? Or of others? You speak your crazy, beautiful, catastrophic world into existence and live life knowing that the opinion of others isn't able to consume you.

-Bailey Cornwell

insta:baileycornwell

twitter:@baileycornwell

blog: artisticmaven.blogspot.com

"Just A Thought..." by Sarah Jones

Do you ever wonder what our world would be like without judgmental people? Like honestly. No one would ever get hate. No one would be hurting from the painful things someone said to them that day or maybe even three months ago. People wouldn't go through such difficult times. Walking into a party and having other people there smile at you and introduce themselves instead of staring you down as you walk past them into the other room because you can't stand how uncomfortable you feel. No one would be afraid of doing what they loved because judgment wouldn't exist.  Without judgmental people everyone would be comfortable in their own skin and wouldn't be scared to show the world who they really are. 

"My story." by Bailey Cornwell

When I first began thinking about my next piece I was looking at a picture of myself and noticed bags under my eyes and I though back at all the times I was up in the middle night awoken by fear or sadness and I came up with why the bags under my eyes are so beautiful and have meaning.

The bags under your eyes are beautiful

They can really tell a story

They speak loudly about who you are

Untouched by makeup or dazzled w/ your finest powder

Regardless they remain there, tattoos, and as pretty as any art you will ever see.

The bags under your eyes are friendly

Countless nights w/ friends, crying.

Laughter that suddenly keeps you up past 3am

Moments that you hope will last forever

The bags under your eyes are kind

Loved ones in need of kind words or sweet simple smile

Calls in the dead of night waiting to be picked up by someone who cares.

Your ability to talk someone off the ledge of "I hate myself" and "unforgiven"

The bags under your eyes are love

Times spent lying awake thinking of him/her

Sweet forehead kisses that mean more to you than you thought

Countless arguments which leads to war

The bags under your eyes resemble galaxies of fear

Fear you felt when you thought you had monsters under your bed but the only things hidden are the skeletons in your closet.

Fear of feeling more than others, a complex mind that no one understands

Failing and falling so far you don't know how to pick yourself up.

The bags under your eyes speak volumes

Louder than any playlist you will create

Embrace them, for they are the story of all things beautiful.

3 am

I'm hungry 

I'm tired 

I wish i had someone to lay with

Why are you awake at that time? Stressed? Insomnia? Craming for a test? We all have these 3 am thoughts even if they arent at 3 am. Our mind is constantly spinning with thoughts and ideas and opinions of everything we come in contact with. It is actually pretty fascinating if you think about it.

What if there really are little people inside of your whole body doing all of these jobs for you? Just like that episode of spondgebob with all little spondgebobs in his head, or like the movie Osmosis Jones. Wouldnt it be cool to have a look inside of all of those things happening at once?

Another big topic, well for me, is the future. Little versions of me running around in circles or chillen with YP's kids just making music and changing the world like we are at this moment?

All you truley have in life is yourself and your family. Family isnt always blood either. What do you think family is? My definition of family is someone who is loyal, someone who is always willing to back you up no matter what, that shoulder you can cry on at night, the one where you know each others darkest secrets but can still make jokes and fuck around, sticking by your side through the good and the bad, pushing you towards success, and picking you up when you are down, loving someone unconditionally, not counting favors.

My list can go on and on but i wanna know what you guys think? Whats your definition of family and what thoughts do you think at "3 am" ? As the famous kevin hart once said, my bullshit is your bullshit and your bullshit is my bullshit. 

"Confidence" by Brianna Lynn

Too many girls lack confidence. I am one of them, but why? I have no reason to not be confident in myself. But girls are constantly reminded by pictures on social media, magazines, and Victoria Secret ads that were not good enough. You have to have a certain look, and if you don't look like that then your not sexy or pretty. If you don't look like that you should be insecure.  Nothing is ever good enough for society. But that is where we need to put our foot down. Why are we suffering for other peoples lack of confidence or whatever it is that makes them have to put down others? Just recently I saw on twitter  girls and boys saying if your not under 130 lbs don't wear shorts, don't wear a crop top, don't wear leggings ect. I find that obsurd and ridiculous. Where are you getting these facts? Being 130lbs doesn't necessarily mean your fat, and also mind your damn business! If someone wants to wear shorts or a crop top or leggings and they're over "130" let them be and get over yourself. They're not bothering anyone, and if it bothers you don't look at them. I myself weigh 130+ & think I look great. I wear all of those things, and no one will tell me no. It's not about the number that defines if you are fat or not, and if you don't like something simply change it. I am confident enough in myself to wear these things, and will continue to do so. Never be concerned with the number you weigh and NEVER be insecure about yourself. 

Confidence is key. 

To want to live.

I think its been awhile since I actually sat and thought about what I wanted to say you guys but being in California has made me think deeper. There's only so much time we have on this big blue planet amongst the unknown, aka Earth. I had been saying stuff that like in my "whats your sixty" speeches. However, I have delved much into it all. I can't imagine  wanting to miss a single day. Everyday is a new opportunity and great way to find out more about yourself. Something that we may not think of is that as we grow, so do those around us. It's hard I know but it's true. I've grown now to realize that family is truly forever. Somehow and someway and depending on what family means to you, its pretty relevant always. Imagine your best friend right, and then think about you having your first kid and them being there and when you get married and all the big life events. Most of us are late teens or early twenties but think about how much LIFE you have to live. Amazing because the people you want to be there, will. I've grown to realize that out here everything has a place, people are content wherever they're at. Seeded deeply within that body of people are people who want more, the go getters. But something modern entrepreneurismsndon't teach is that as you chase that dream, you outrun your loved ones. Opportunity costs most often involve time, you have to pick and its at shitty times. BUT the ultimate last piece of push is that you're doing this for them. Its what I've been telling myself, I cant let them down. Them should be whoever keeps you not only going, but who are the reasons you are able to participate in this great life race. Understand there are levels to all of this and people race different tracks everyday. But as you make it to the races that count you're gonna want the same people who saw you at your first, so take care of what you must while not forgetting to want to live. And my suggestion is to do it with those who never gave up on you. Life's most expensive item is a lifetime friend and we all know that true friends are family. So to conclude we learned that all things may not have a place in your schedule, but you should put them off too long. Everything comes back around so make sure the life you've been given, gives life back to those who need it. 

YP

"I don't care"...

who made caring look so bad in the first place. Was it all those hopeless romantic movies. Was it the fact that in Celeste and Jesse Forever there wasn't a forever? How about the end of spiderman. Sometimes I wonder if these movies reveal a truth about why people don't show they care, the fear of loss? Was it the appeal of those stone cold men and women who don't need anyone? 

It seems so much easier these days to conceal your feelings and such a stress to actually express them. I find it interesting how relieving it is to speak how you truly feel. However before the relief, for me, comes fear. Fear of hurting, angering or bothering others while expressing myself or seeming to different. I've always been different and weird and though emotional, I often held back. I thought venting and talking about my problems too much would make me seem sad and annyoing so I just dealt with stuff. 

I think being cared for and caring for someone genuinely, no matter the relationship, is a very warm and important feeling. It brings a certain security and trust to the relationship and it makes it that much stronger. There are endless ways to show someone you care and simply asking questions about ones feelings and opinions towards something makes a solid difference. Reading someone's facial expressions and acting on that not their words also shows depth to how much you care about someone. Sometimes your words contradict your body language but your body language is always right. Don't be afraid to care about someone because even if they don't want it, deep down they will appreciate it. 

the time is now

its 2015... are we really still afraid to express how we feel, what we want and who we are? Racism and homophobia should have been left behind decades ago but it hasn't. This is the year we need to change, we need to keep up with the changes universally and live a healthy lifestyle.We need acceptance and people to stand up for themselves. we need less self loathing kids and more inspiring role models, not just a bunch of recovered drug addicts who have tv shows. We need t stick together and respect each others opinions and preferences. this is my food for though. enjoy,

Madeline