Madeline T

Toronto, CANADA

about this freebird

  My mindset is positive and realistic. Hiking is my biggest stress reliever and going to concerts is one of my favourite things to do. I love to travel and learn new things. Also heads up, I make a lot of typos, if you spot one shoot me an email!

Twitter: madelinet_xo

Instagram: madeline_t

FBN Email: madelinefromFBN@gmail.com

Madeline's Blog

You Will Not Regret Helping

For the past while, I've been writing, but not uploading…writing about writers block and writing about nothingness. 

Until today, today, I have something to write about. 

Around 9pm, I was leaving the library, walking out to a so called “community” area. While walking around waiting for my ride, I noticed a bit of frantic movement in a small group of people. This area is filled with all kinds; couples, old people, young people, families and some other students like me. I noticed one girl amongst a group of maybe 5 boys, being hit over the head and being pushed and shoved and grabbed. 2-3 of those boys do nothing but walk a few feet behind. One however, hardly sheltering her but at least (and I mean the very least) walking her away from him. I continued observing while walking and at that point I realized I'm going absolutely no where but their direction. 

By the time I was a few feet away, I realized, I wasn't the only one a few feet away and I definitely was not the only one who witnessed this poor girl get attacked. So I approached the group; the girl sitting on a bench, standing next to her was the violent boy,  a “friend” sitting beside her and the 2-3 stranglers kinda just walking around (you suck by the way). Immediately I ask, “Are you okay?”. The majority of the answer came from the group while she remained silent, not yet raising her head and clutching her finger with her hand (which was red and she was missing a few fake nails). So, I asked a different question, “What happened?”. Well, doesn't the violent boy try to answer again, but I make eye contact with the girl and she says, “I’m fine, it’s okay”.  I figured, she's uncomfortable, and opening up to a stranger is scary and she is probably going to be around these boys again…I’m not getting any answers here. 

Story or no story, time to give the violent one a piece of mind. I go through the typical “you cannot hit women” but I continue to press that it is not okay to harm anyone, and no matter what, violence WILL NEVER solve a problem. He looked at me for the first two words of my sentence, after that, he turns, head down and refuses to make eye contact. I continue, I say that the reason he wont look me in the eye is guilt, and embarrassment and that he should feel both those things and never lay a finger on anyone again. I wanted to get the girl alone but she was not willing. After a few comments, he says it…”she hit me first”. So I ask, “what made her hit you?”. I look at her, for a sign of relief, for a sign that maybe she feel like she can win, and the corners of her lips pulled up, and his face dropped yet again and it was silent. I wasn't getting very far with this interaction, so I started to step away, down the steps filled of strangers and towards the road. He shouts out to me “Thanks, thanks a lot” and some smart remarks. What do I see while I look over my shoulder? He’s angry at her again, she gets up to try and HUG HIM, to COMFORT him, I now feel sick. He refuses her, pushing her back onto the bench, as if she did anything wrong, as if he deserves sympathy because he is embarrassed that I approached him, that he got caught. He would take it out on her, because he made a scene and I intervened. So, she put herself and her feelings and her side of the story away, simply because he's angry again. 

They started walking to a more secluded area, for those who know Mississauga well, they walked towards the semi circle stage by the washrooms at celebration square. I knew it wasn't finished. Refusing to leave without some answers, I walked over. The only one who was visible was one friend, who seemed to not want trouble and who seemed the most approachable. I asked him if I could talk to him. The violent boy started getting rowdy, he tried pushing him until this young man calmed him down and got him to walk away. So I asked, is the violent boy and the girl together? They are, they're in grade 12 and are from TLKSS. I asked more questions, is he always violent? Is this normal? Is she okay?…etc. He says he doesn't know them too well, but they don't usually fight (this guy was siting on the fence and very cautious). He tried to defend the violent boy. Like this, “Its exams and end of the year, there is just some drama right now between them, they're stressed out and going to different schools”. While I listened and for a second tried to understand, I realized that those factors had nothing to do with hitting her. Those are factors of life yes, but that is no excuse and in no way a justification to hurt someone. I told him that. He was very repetitive and didn't help me out much more than that, the girl stayed hidden and the boy with the yellow shirt, the violent boy, was watching. 

I left it with this, I told the young boy that if it happened again, he has to do something, that he needs to say something and intervene. I told him what happened was not acceptable and that I hope that the couple goes separate ways. 

I am still very unsettled. I am unsettled by the unwilling amount of adults who did nothing, the unwilling amount of other women who did nothing and the amount of unwilling youth who did nothing, the bystanders and the “friends”. I am personally and emotionally connected to such issues however, seeing something like this, should make EVERYONE jump in. I’m disappointed that nothing else was done and I’m disappointed at the lack of safety that girl must have felt in a community environment. All I’m saying is that no one should be a bystander. Stop being too afraid to be another victim and start being someones hero. You can save, impact and change a life forever, by simply acknowledging something, by saying something, by intervening. By standing there doing nothing, what makes you sick to see will only be seen more. 

Take Care,

xx Maddy

The Importance of Fear

(I watched a very eye opening ted talk today. Here’s the link to it.)

https://www.ted.com/talks/karen_thompson_walker_what_fear_can_teach_us?language=en#

    I came to the realization of what my own fears do to me. I like to analyze anything about myself that may further explain who I am. This often includes birth-charts/astrological interest. However I also analyze my own body language, dreams…and after watching this ted talk; my fears and how they affect me. As mentioned in this ted talk our fears are our minds way of telling a story. Think about it, when you're about to do something and become afraid, the first thing you do is think and picture what can go wrong and describe why you shouldn't do what you're afraid of. This may be the fear of doing something new, going somewhere or talking to someone. Your mind plays out all the negative possibilities and why you should not pursue such actions. However, once you learn to realize that this fear is your imagination or input from past experiences ( or stories from others); you can use that to your advantage. Recognizing what you fear and why you fear it my help you push yourself out of your comfort bubble and do something daring, or something meaningful that you've been putting off. Whether you've been putting off starting a project for fear or failure or mockery, or putting off talking to someone new for the fear of rejection or awkwardness; identifying that these are the most negative outcomes is important. The situation does not have to go the way you fear. In fact, use your fear to determine how to best approach a situation. This ted talk closely relates to the laws of attraction in my opinion. What you put out there is what you get. You send out love and good energy, that will return to you. You think negatively about yourself, you will feel negatively about yourself. You think going up to someone to talk to them is gonna make you turn into a stuttering mess, that may just happen. 

    This relation between fear and the laws of attraction have just become very important to me. Once you realize that you're fears are the worst possible outcome of any situation, use that to become liberated. Use that to develop a plan for the best outcome. One of the most important things to me is taking negative aspects and using them as motivation. So you don't want to lose money with your start up company? Then don't count on it, encourage yourself and always have a backup plan for your backup plan, don't accept failure. You're afraid to walk down a path because you don't know whats on it? What if what the unknown that you're fearing is filled with everything you've ever wanted to see and leads you to be places you've always wanted to be. 

            Don't let your fears paralyze any type of progress. 

xx Maddy

T H I N K  I T  O U T 

Its been pointed out to me that I have a serious problem with my tongue. See, the way I like to think things out is by speaking. So I speak what comes to my mind, a raw, brash and blunt opinion. Then I back track and change my sentence, using more fact or logic. This actually makes me sound quite all over the place, possibly hypocritical, but its honestly just my way of sorting my thoughts. Its my way of figuring out the flaws in my original opinion and allows to create a solution or good response when conversing. 

For some reason, when I speak fast and brash, I come of as negative and cynical but that is not intentional. Its my way of saying something so that I can critically think about what Im saying, unfortunately I do this out loud. I need to hear myself to correct myself. Example, the only time I ever really catch mistakes on this blog is when I finally decide to read them out loud. 

For that exact reason, sounding so brash and negative, I would much rather write out my thoughts and opinions. They come out more pleasant, more careful and more moving when the words aren't rolling off my tongue like shrapnel. Writing enables me to slow down, to get through my own messy stream of consciousness. It helps me sort fact from opinion, show me what I need to work on and how to speak more calmly. The more I write, the less I rant/outburst in effort to get my point across. 

Like tea, writing has the effect of calming my high tension, anxiety ridden and excited nervous system.

xx Maddy

F I L T E R S 

    Some may disagree, but I think filtering our lives is much more important than we think. follow what you want, chase after it, be inspired. Take all the good you can from resources such as social media, books and who you surround yourself with. You can lead any type of life you want these days, you are in full control of what you take in. It's true, who you surround yourself with is a reflection of yourself or whom you'll become. Cut all the negative influence, remove what/who you don’t want to see, regardless of association and stop allowing meaningless things to take up your time. Follow plenty of what you like, motivate yourself and find inspiration. Read, then read some more.  Act on it, don't just absorb it, you've got to do something with the power, knowledge and motivation you've collected. Do not waste your own time.

xx Maddy

All Yours, Yours truly 

She shares everything she loves, she's far too open and far too straight up. But, in a respectable manner. She's often right, she's got a bright, sharp mind and is usually  two steps ahead of a lot of people. She also admits when she's wrong, but will be defensive when criticized. She loves to surround herself with the right type of people: people of influence, purity and appreciation. She's proud of who she is now but awkward about her past. She loves people but is often hurt by those who cannot comprehend her, those who take advantage of her generosity. Perfectly comfortable alone, but far too social to not want to be with someone. 

After all, whats the point of being filled with so much love and joy if you aren't going to share it? She is more than one person, very colourful and so many sides. Truly she is at her best when she's with someone who enjoys her leadership, gives her brain candy, supports her passions and who makes her laugh. She's loves authentic, genuine and well mannered people, she feels more hopeful about the future of the world when she finds someone. She makes decisions too fast, trusting her instincts…every time just hoping she wont be screwed over again. Her instincts have improved. Driven by passion and emotion, logical strategies and goals.

Negative experiences scar her but never hold her down. But she doesn't dwell on it, she will openly talk about it, but she moves on.  She can’t help it, she loves love. She's not good at forgiving intentionally hurtful people but she sure is good at picking herself up and putting herself back out there, trial and error, disappointment and faith, Lessons being learned. 

Making someone laugh, a cute smile pulling on the corners of lips, when theres so much to say but they cannot express themselves, she's there. She would rather solve problems than be angry.open up, she's wants to hear and know everything in your head, but granted, she will respect your space. just an interest in intellect. Make her feel loved and never betray her trust, and she will be everything you truly need and what you ask for. 

xx Maddy

Too Late

Almost everything nowadays is made to break.

Things build up, in our lives and within us and at some point they collapse or crumble, however you don't have to be broken. As of now I could honestly say I have no energy left for those who made me crumble. I am forgiving and tolerant yes, however if you wont allow me my space, you can probably feel me distancing myself in every way. 

Funny, you pull away and as soon as your try to rebuild yourself, you are now faced with the decision of giving a second (or tenth) chance. Being me, you get that chance to prove that you can be in my life, also being me you do not get the opportunity to have access to my life or me the way you had before. I become detached, to save myself. I become very emotionally distant because I refuse to put in the same effort and I refuse to let my emotions be affected by anyone other than myself. 

Bottom line is, boys do not waste your chances on stupidity. Boys, be honest with your girl and tell her how you really feel, you will get the same in return. Boys, show your girl what she's worth before its too late: she will walk away and be perfectly fine with her decision and leave you with nothing but regrets. 

xx Maddy 

Staircase 

Then

3 years makes a difference, every year I feel like a different person with a stronger set of standards and beliefs, still figuring it all out. My tolerance level becomes mature. I feel like I've been growing up a lot faster than others but I never take that for granted. I used to be stuck caring about what everyone was doing and whatever other gossip I could eat up. Not because I was actually interested, just because I felt in touch with what was going on around me and it was just so easy tot talk about, I mean really there is no intellect behind it all.

Now

Now however, is totally different. Who actually cares who's “almost dating” and what does it matter if someone got really drunk last weekend? Not me, and you shouldn't either. Its a time in my life where I filter through every aspect of my life, I filter friends, my social media accounts, and whatever else I thought was important. I stick to who and what is important and who and what is worth my time. Being able to organize my life and who I let in has helped me gain focus on what I want to be doing with my life and who I am as a person. Last year was really about the “who I want to be” but this year is doing it, this year for me is the transformation.

Progress

This was hard, the real change starting up. I used to hold on to things and people that really weren't worth it. I just wanted to feel accepted. However this was always difficult because as much as I am sensitive, I am the brutally honest friend. For me it was about not having a lot conflict with people. However, making progress involved cutting a lot of people out, people that I thought were much more permanent than they turned out to be and also accepting that I really cannot avoid conflict. I am okay with it, conflict is not always a bad thing because you can learn a lot from it. It took surprisingly little practice, to put blinders on and to ignore all the gossip that is basically the same as every other week. As for now, all my energy is finally being put into where it needs to be. Im happy with where I am right now. So if you ever feel over consumed with the environment and people around you, never be afraid to just take a few deep breaths and take 3 huge steps away. Disconnecting from what your so used to, can really help you connect with yourself. I became not a watcher nor a participator, Ive become an individual.

Spring and Summer Two Thousand Fifteen Collection

People Person - quick thoughts

I never give up, especially not on people. I would like to say I'm the cold hearted type who can cut someone off who no longer deserves my attention but that isn't me at all. I'm the type of girl who no matter what you need, will try and help you out. I never give up on people because I believe people can change, doesn't happen often but it happens enough. 

Regarding people in general, I love people, I love different cultures, different lifestyles, different music etc.  I love seeing a stranger smile because of another strangers random act of kindness. It makes me happy, it makes my world go round, because every single one of us affects one another, whether you like it or not. "The world is a small place". It really is, you could be having coffee alone and a minute later someone stops to talk to you and then four years down the road you guys are living together. Thats a pretty bold example but you get the point. 

Crash and Burn 

How do you know when you're supposed to give up, to stop trying, to stop fixing? The only person who has that answer is you, through experience. I suppose calling it quits on anything or anyone that you love isn’t an easy decision. When you're so used to putting up with things you shouldn’t, because you love someone, becomes to much, what do you do? How do I know something is really “too much” when you care for someone, everyone has different limits. If you really love/care for someone should there be limits or should it just be tolerance and forgiveness. No its not complete hell but its not always sunshine and rainbows either. What relationship is actually easy, if its so easy is it actually right? I couldn't tell you. We all have our own preferences and expectations for how we want to be loved and by whom. We don't always get what we want and sometimes what we want isn't what we really need. For me its who makes me laugh, enjoys my favourite things and figures me out. Yea it pretty basic but my standards are simple and kind.”You'd be good to me and I'd be so good to you” thats a lyrics from a simple beautiful song, that is a lyric that I believe is as simple as it gets for general relationship standards. Thats how I am, if you're good to me and Im great to you. Put it the other way around and I can only be so nice for so long. You can’t be negative, judgmental and angry all the time, say “I love you” and expect me to take only the positive and give it back to you. I don't work like that, you give what you get and you get what you give. There needs to be balance in relationships and balance in personalities. Its hard to make it work when its one positive person and one negative person who love each other because eventually what goes around comes around and if you keep giving negative responses to positive actions well then you're shit out of luck when your partner reflects you.

Make Someones Day

Im all about the little things. My day is often made by kind hearted things that people do for me. Whether it makes me laugh really hard, makes me blush or makes me smile, I appreciate anything that makes me feel like someone is sharing their happiness with me. I remember it all, someone shooting a random compliment, a really good hug, holding the door open  etc... It really is contagious, being happy, cause once you're happy you want to share it with everyone, you want other people to have a day just a great as yours, you want them to laugh so hard their stomachs tighten. Its one of my favourite feelings, since I was a kid, to laugh with someone, to do something that makes someone laugh and change their day or mood. Even for a moment, just to crack a smile makes me feel really good. I encourage everyone, to make someone smile through the kindness of your own heart.

Quote of the Day

"If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges."

Pat Riley

FOR YOU ALL

I try to write interesting, motivating and inspiring posts. I want to make you guys think and I want you guys to embrace change and grow in a positive way. Truth is I cant always speak my mind, I usually write when I am stressed out, need to vent, or just want to share a new idea or opinion with you all. Sometimes I want to be the teacher not the student. Then there are times where I swear I could write a post only using lyrics that get stuck in my head. I want to share these lyrics with you and analyze them because they bring emotions to me that I cant express without using those exact lyrics. You know, those lines you just belt out, pretend you're in  a music video or whatever. I want to share my best thoughts with all of you, my vision is to make you all happy, positive and appreciative and strong.

I need to practice what I write more often because sometimes I get caught up in the negativity and life’s disappointments. It those time where I lose my positive energy, my love for the world and I need some time to get over “it”. However, Its at those times where I start to read what I feed you guys, I read what I want to become, I fill myself with the power of positivity and I start again. 

Now, its important, that when you guys start feeling negative or own in the dumps that you do not spread it to others, sadness is just as contagious as happiness, It is at those low moments where I want you to re focus, be the bigger person, believe in yourself and tackle any problem or obstacle in your way. 

kill em with kindness

The Happiness Guidelines

Happiness Within Yourself

It's 3:50 am and I feel like I need to get this out. If you want to be happy its all up to you. I'm not being ignorant to mental health issues, I know they are there and I know they aren't up to you. You can get as much help or support as your need but a switch in yourself that makes a change or accepts the change is just as important.

If you want to be happy with yourself you need to start complimenting yourself, stop comparing yourself to others. Stop pinching the extra "fat" on your skin, everyones got it. Start realizing that the things that people see in you are beautiful. You need to treat yourself with more love. You deserve to be loved, not only by others but by yourself. Not all at once, that can be overwhelming but try it out. Try being nice to yourself. Make the conscious decision to not accept the awful things you want to say about yourself and say something positive instead.

The answer is within you.

Embrace your faults, challenge them. Always keep improving and learn to be comfortable with yourself. I never said this was easy but trust me it will work if you keep working on it.

You will experience happiness, a wonderful feeling. It may be given to you, or shown to you but it can only be felt within you, hold on to it. Love the things that make you happy and take care of them, including yourself. Love yourself. Nothing feels better than being happy with yourself.

Happiness in Others

Recently I've noticed that when people who are unhappy with themselves get angry, they create problems with others. They channel their negativity into others and spread it, sometimes without knowing. Because they cannot find the answer nor peace within themselves.

It's easy to blame others, to point fingers and accuse someone of wrongdoing; not only is the answer within you but sometimes so is the problem.

Reacting to situations without thought often have a negative outcome. You become angry, and express your anger to someone else. Only causing more conflict. The solution is to think, think about whether or not that aggravator will matter in 3 days, think about how it will impact your life and think about how your reaction will affect the lives of people around you. Take your emotions out on the arts, make something, paint something, draw something or write something.

Being able to accept that people make mistakes will help you, trust me. Also I believe everything happens for a reason, but you are in control of your reaction and your life.

Finding happiness within others, well choose your friends wisely. Be with the friends that aren't mean when they joke, the ones who compliment you and the ones who trust you. Accept that people make mistakes, some, a lot more than others and sometimes people just will not get along.

You will experience anger, whether it is directed at you, coming from you or coming at you. You should be aware of how to handle it.

You will experience sadness, because of someone, because of your thoughts, because of the world. Now now, how do you know true happiness when you haven't felt true sadness?

Winter and Fall Two Thousand Fourteen Collection

ABANDONED GROWTH

People come into your life. They leave impressions, memories, lessons and sometimes gifts. I think the worst kind of people are the ones who have taught me the most.

The ones who become a part of you and then disappear, they are the worst and the best. It's happened to me, it hurt so much. Due to the character of that person; I started realizing who I really should and shouldn't keep in my life. I've been played, lied to, bullied, used and worst of all: forgotten.

It's these horrible things that encourage me to be a better person, to be someone that would never commit those hurtful actions to others. I want to be the girl who grows, not withers in difficult times. These horrible people are the ones who made me decide that I don't want to treat others the way I've been treated. I want to treat others the way they deserve to be treated.

I have become the person that I want to be by treating others better than I have been treated. Sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it's a waste of time. But you can never feel guilty or self loathing or upset if you were nice to someone. Being a good person to anyone and everyone will always make me feel like I'm doing something right. Being kind, helpful, caring and positive is the best way to leave a good mark on someone. With this I am not saying you have to be friends with everyone, or get along with everyone, but choose the people in your life wisely, even if they are only temporary. Treat them well and never forget to appreciate.

So thank you to those people who have done me wrong cause I have learned from your mistakes. 

Are You Happy?

I believe in mind over matter, if you want to be happy then simply be happy. In a generation of mental illnesses somewhat influenced by the internet I feel that some people find too many reasons not to be happy and complain about the negativity, waiting for someone to make them change. Are you happy? If the answer is no, then think about why. If you have a lot of reasons to not be happy simply put those negative reasons away, accept them if they cannot be changed. Think about everything you have that makes you happy, people that make you happy and positive influences. If you want to be happy the only motivation I believe truly works is to motivate yourself.

 You can be surrounded by negative people, issues, thoughts and environments but it is up to YOU to find the positive. Open up your mind, stop thinking that “there is nothing good about….” and start observing the things in life that make you smile. Surround yourself with every element and aspect of happy, no matter what it. Its starts off as convincing yourself to enjoy and cherish all that you have. Once you started to “convince” yourself, you realize you aren’t really convincing yourself, you’re just choosing to be happy.

 This can be hard for some people, because yes we do live amongst negativity and not everything in life is fair…but choosing the positive side of things will bring you up and away from the world of wrongs. A lot of this has to do with perspective. If you motivate yourself to be happy then even a pessimists can become happy. You have the ability and right to control the negativity you accept.

Pull yourself away from anything negative such as negative social media accounts. You don’t need to follow those sick accounts that advertise their illnesses; it will just bring you down.  Click the unfollow button and MOVE ON. This may sound harsh but you will be happier when you hit that unfollow button; you have just removed a negative influence. It is that easy, keep removing all sources of negativity you can control, accept the rest and absorb the positive aspects of yourself, others and the life you live.

Want another boost of happy? Follow positive accounts, read positive quotes, believe in something that inspires you, help others in a way that does not drain you but fills you with happiness.