No excuses

Over the last week, I have been able to realize a few things. First off, I've realized who is there for me and who isn't. We get so caught up in who we are percieved to be that we never actually become much of anything. We essentially live within others and those people leave. In a world of so many it's so common to feel alone. Perhaps the biggest thing that I have learned that I abused was family. Influenced by my peers expectations and my tainted experiences destroy the thing that keeps me here. Isolation is one of the most effective weapons we have to have used that as a form of protection became second nature to me. I hurt the ones I love again and again. Although I was becoming something, I was destroying much more. I feel out of place but still on track and I feel at heart way ahead of my age but in the eyes of others not even close. No excuses means to me that what was is what was, I can't justify with excuses what I had done and I can't do much to make anyone feel better these days but I can keep moving forward and work to build back what was lost but in a different way. A way that works. The worst part of the come up is not being perfect, understood and worst of all being loved by the same people you hurt. I guess it's time to strap up and make things happen. Live a life with an eraser. Make mistakes and make them better. Learn from the past. Believe in the power to fix and heal and be yourself.

Andrew KrigsmanComment