When I met him I knew I found the one. The person I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. It was just something I was so unsure about. When we met all he did was do nothing but make me smile and made me feel like an actual human being that mattered in this world. He gave me life again. I felt nothing but good things coming my way. My future was starting to look good. I felt confident and smart. I knew what I wanted, but still was stuck in the past. When I finally let go I saw my future becoming real. Everything started to become clear. I remember the talks we had saying nothing would ever change and I can't quite grasp where it did. Maybe we let the stress get the best of us. I know I let it get the best of me. I don't know if it's too late, but I want to find that again. Find us. Find the friendship that was unbreakable. I've never met someone who cared about me before themself. It's a different kind of feeling m, and it's something I'm not used to. I'm not used to someone giving a shit about me so I put up this guard. I get defensive really quick, and that is something that I need to stop. I fell in love with a boy who is now a man and I'm falling even harder. I don't know what it is but I can't stop not even for a minute.
Falling in love is the worst and best thing that could ever happen to someone. The thought of losing someone you care for so much is the scariest thing to imagine. I'm 20 years old and I've fallen. I'm not sure I want to fall out. I'm okay with the ups and the downs. I'm okay with the fights. I'm okay with falling asleep next to him every night. I'm okay with you being my comfort. I'm okay that I have fallen in love at the age 20 and even though that's young I want to grow with him. I want to change and better myself to make him happy, and to see my efforts of giving a fuck about his wants and his needs. I know I need to work on things and I promise I will. We're still growing up and we're still growing together. I want to make the most out of this while I got it because this has been the most rocky year for me but because of HIM this has been the most eventful best year of my life. Despite the lows he had brought me the highest highs of my life and I will forever thank you for being the most genuine, caring person that's ever cared for me back.
Love always no matter what.