I packed my bags and left before it actually happened. I told myself I wanted to be grown up way before my time. I rushed my younger years just to get the feel of being an "adult". Do I regret it? No. Do I wish I allowed myself to live my teen years how I should have? Sometimes. I wanted to grow up so bad I didn't think about all of the things I was leaving behind. I didn't take the time to appreciate time as I should have.
I've had the time to think about life these past couple months, and I thought to myself, "Wow, I can never get any of that back." I won't ever live with my mom again, I won't have her in the room next to me, or make me dinner every night. I kept myself out of the house so much just because I wanted to be grown. I think about it now and I think I was crazy for ever wanting to leave that life so soon. Being out in California really doing something with my life is so refreshing. Moving out of New York and figuring out my life has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. As scary as it is thinking about it I have really grown up. I've grown into such a strong, hard-working, independent woman. This move has changed me for the better and makes me appreciate every day, every moment, and every second of my life. I will never take anything for granted again because I've learned the hard way in multiple situations that you don't know what you got until it's gone.
I made my choice to grow up and move on with my life and I am going to own every second of it. I refuse to prove those right who think I can't do it because I can and I will. Five words I never fail to say to myself; One of the few mottos I live by. My confidence came back stronger than ever before and I couldn't be anymore proud of the direction I'm headed. I used to feel so lost and useless to this world, but now I realize everything I am worth and what I am here for.
Growing up too fast is not something I recommend, but I have learned a lot from all of this. I learned to appreciate. I learned to grow. I learned to work for everything I want. I learned to never give up. It's true when they say don't rush to grow up because life will never be the same. I am happy with my life though, and so excited to see the journey I am creating for myself. I'm setting up my life and making my own decisions. I'm ready to take on life and what it has in store for me.