I just dont get it.

I tell everyone to be strong knowing that i feel like I am the weakest person in the world. I'm slowly giving up. I cant live with myself anymore. I just wish I was enough for someone. I want to be strong. I really do but I cant help but bursting out into tears sometimes, because I just dont know how things will get better. It's just hard to wait around for something you know may never happen but it's even harder when you know it's everything you want. The more I try not to, the more I seem to care and the more I say i'm fine, the more I just pretend. I always feel like i'm running away from someone or something but i've never gotten anywhere. You know why its hard for me to be happy? Because I find it hard to let go of the things that make me sad. I dont understand how i can smile all day long but cry myself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that youd do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldnt live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it hurts just the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second of their time with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because its easier that working things out. i just dont get it.

Joey G