Thoughts Pt. 10
Waking up everyday having to look in the mirror and see a monster starring back at you is the hardest thing to do. Loosing control of everything and not being able to take control sucks. You feel trapped, every day you wish you could die. You ask God why your still here. What's the purpose of life if you go through your days struggling to breathe, struggling to live. You just don't want to function. You cut yourself up to take away the pain but that leaves you feeling worse. You feel alone, trapped. A stranger in your own body. Pushing everyone in sight away. Your stuck on your past. You can't get through it . You go through life looking for love in all the wrong ways thinking nobody could ever love you, the real you. Your not good enough and the next thing you know is your in too deep struggling to find a way out, struggling to hold on. You don't want to loose people and let those down you truly care about. Your scared and tired. At this point it's like your drowning slowly, you can't breathe you can't function. You just want it all to end, you want help but your afraid to be shut down again after asking once before.